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Pleaserespect my desire for time to work this out on my own. I stayed longenough to help you this morning. I just need time to myself." Ok," I said. My eyes were watering too.I walked out to the kitchen and Speckles followed me. Kathy didn't.I took care of the dog's breakfast and made myself lunch.I'm losing control of my life. It's spiraling out of control. I neededhelp. I needed help from a woman right now. I really wanted that helpto come from Kathy. Maybe it will later, but right now she needs herspace.If this was 10 years ago, I'd just call up my sister, Emily. There weremany times I'd call her about relationship advice and we'd just talk forhours and have an honest conversation. She was the first family memberwho I introduced Kathy to. She never sugar coated anything and alwaysgave me honest answers and advice. I could really use that right aboutnow.I opened the door to leave the house. "Kathy, I'm leaving," It hurt tosay that knowing that she won't be here to. The bouncers are big boys, in every sense of the word. Not the brightest, but they do their job well and we do show our appreciation from time to time. The hot guy I just had sex with for my first time takes me afterwards to this strip club. We talked after sex about how he thinks I should strip. Me with my hormones sky high agrees. I’m sexually charged to the max right now and feel like I can take on the world. We walk inside to see the owner so I can apply. Not knowing what to expect, but not with very high hopes, helped me to brace myself for what I saw. A small stage with two poles on either end. A cat walk in the middle with rickety chairs and tables on either side. As I walked in, I saw the short bar on the right with a skimpy dressed barmaid/stripper . The ‘dj’ booth is to the left of the stage. A bouncer at the door and one near the stage to keep the rift raft in line. The floor is a beige dirty color and the walls are plain white mixed with cracks and dirt. Watching a dancer.
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